Do you remember Dirty Dancing?
This is my space of dance and this is your space of dance!
As humans, we live and act in accordance to this unwritten rule all day!
What would our live together look like if we would break this rule?
Would you like to have your neighbor sitting on your lap right now?
Not really, would you?
Our animals share this rule as well because they need to find their space in a group.
They accept the safety distance. Using their body language – Calming Signals, they ask whether they are allowed to come closer, to step in.
What’s the impact of intruding into this personal distance?
For you and me it usually means that we feel uncomfortable, distressed or even threatened.
But if we know and we possibly like this person, we are willing to accept.
If we allow explicitly our counterpart to enter our security area, it is a vote of confidence.
Now think about how we behave against dogs in our everyday life!
Do we accept the security area of our dogs? No!
We just accept the security area around their bed or cage!
If a dog is coming towards me and sits in front of me that doesn’t mean, that I need to touch it. If I meet a dog in the park, on a show or at any competition I don’t need to cuddle every dog around me, I don’t need to bend over every dog to touch it!
Why should I accept this security area? Because it’s fair and it becomes a basic building block to create a good partnership, it shows respect!
We should learn to accept that dogs like to accompany us, they like to be cuddled by us, they love body contact BUT not at all time! And NOT from strangers!
I hear you say: “But my dog loves everyone!” How do you know? It also could be a behaviour that he/she has learned and what is now the action he/she thinks is the right thing to do, because we are expecting this from them.
Do we really know? We don’t!
For any kind of living with a dog it is important to have a good relationship, this means to teach with: trust, love, fun, time, special knowledge and respect.
In my belief is only possible by accepting and balancing intimacy and personal distance.